Stinking Rich by Rob Brunet

Author:Rob Brunet
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: crime noir, crime satire
Publisher: Down & Out Books

“You’re looking a little worn out, Perkie,” Shelley commented when he walked through the door to her apartment.

“How perceptive,” he grumbled. Between getting Tasered—twice!—being stuck in the cage with the village vermin, and getting the bullets sweated out of him in the Libidos’ limelight, he’d lost a couple pounds easy. Maybe his chaps would be easier to get into.

“You been a bad boy again? A little tough stuff with the lads? Nothing a lady has to be worried about, I hope?”

As if to assert her claim on him in case he’d been doing the nasty with some biker tramp, she ordered him to strip, shower, and screw her. Preoccupied as he was, Perko had to work hard to deliver the wall-banging work-out Shelley demanded. When they were done, she lit two cigarettes and asked him where he’d been.

“Getting fucked over by everyone and his cousin,” he said.

“Rough couple of days in gangland?”

Perko sighed. As accustomed as he was to Shelley’s refusal to take his vocation seriously, he was in no mood to be mocked. He said, “This time they’ve gone too far.”

“Who’s they?”

“Everyone. Mongoose and the rest. The cops who think they can bust my chops whenever they want. And especially that shithead who ripped me off and fucked up my lifestyle.”

“Oh, please tell me you’re not going to start whining about that punk again. You’ll bore me to tears with that old rag.”

“Well, you won’t have to hear it much longer. I’m gonna do something about it.”

“Spoken like a real he-man.”

Perko felt his already limp dick shrivel a little further. “You watch,” he said. “I’ve got a line on this thing. Met a guy in the mayor’s motel. He’s gonna help me deal with this mess once and for all, let me keep all the dough for myself. Just you wait and see.”

“You’ve got a new partner in crime?”

“An assistant, more like.”

“An assistant.” She stifled a giggle. “Aren’t we important?”

Perko scowled and stabbed his cigarette into the ashtray that lay on Shelley’s belly. He started to get dressed. As he pulled on his chaps, there was a knock at the door.

“Shit. I told the little runt to meet me downstairs,” he said.

When he opened the door, Jonah stood there looking from Perko’s chaps to his hairy gut and back again. “Izzat a cowboy costume?” he asked.

Shelley stuck her head and one bare shoulder around the door jamb. She took in Jonah’s droopy moustache and guffawed. “Shave Perko’s stomach and you’d look like Sonny and pregnant Cher!” She disappeared back around the corner, giving both men a good look at her bare ass as she moved away.

Jonah’s eyes were wide at the sight and he looked like he was trying to keep from licking his lips. Perko cuffed him and sent him to the parking lot. Then he followed Shelley into the bedroom to finish dressing.

“So that’s your new team?” she asked with a sneer.

“Shut up,” said Perko. “He’s more like a temp.”

“Well, I hope you know what you’re doing. I sure would hate to imagine he’s the one who’s got your back in a brawl.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.